One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about But other's have known few battles are won alone So, you'll look around to find Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you

I am once again having issues with HTML and formatting, so it's another direct upload of photos kind of a post. I hope whatever is going on with this resolves itself soon, jeez!

 

 Today is supposed to be the luckiest day astrologically of the entire year, especially for Leos. Of course that means I have to wear my Full Moon coord to the mooniest.

 

 I saw some deer this morning, which I am going to take as a sign of good luck!

 

I made a huge (for me, anyway) life decision early this week I am very proud of and  content with. Monday was my grandpa's 105th birthday,  and I really felt emboldened (empowered, maybe?) to make Monday The Day that I make this choice: I walked away from a 25 year friendship *officially* on Monday. I saw something that this person had re-shared that was so toxic, I decided that I didn't need that in my life. I decided to not confront them on it, not to give them screen shots as fodder to misrepresent the situation. I just quietly hit block on everything that I could, and never looked back. I don't feel empty. I don't feel sad. I don't care about being The Villain™ in their perpetual victim narrative. If someone is committed to being miserable, let them. If someone wants to greatly misrepresent themselves and be duplicitous, they're free to do that, but not waste my time or empathy whilst doing it. I was never important enough for this person, anyway, I am sure I will be easily replaced by someone they deem "good enough" for them. They were always looking for a more advantageous and better social option, and now I freed up the choice for them. I don't even care if they choose to misrepresent me, but there is no one they know whose opinions of me I would value. They can have whatever narrative they want, I'm done.

 

I think that there is part of me that is admittedly sad. I am sad that I held this person in such a high regard for the last 25 years and it was all a waste. I am sad that in the span of that time, I could have had a real friend in that space. I don't let people into my life. I don't allow people to really know me or get close to me, and I allowed this person to do so, and they in turn misused my trust.

 

This wasn't something I took lightly, either. I had been essentially building a mental RICO case for the last 5 years, thinking about all the ways I was lied to, thinking about all of the half-truths and gross misrepresentations.  I think participating in the dog-piling onto another person like that is what finally did it. I didn't even want to consider their feelings anymore, which had been the thing holding me back for so long. I think maybe I will write something to explain what the post was that pissed me off so much, but I will wait a bit to calm down before I do that. But what I need to just make clear is that it made me so angry, it felt like I was floating.

 

They can decontextualize my anger from a broader collection of instances, and make it seem like it was an "overreaction," like it wasn't the result of decades of nonsense. You're free to misrepresent yourself to some new sucker, but you're not free to misrepresent me. I do not ask for perfection. I am not so rigid, nor do I have impossible standards that are so high. Human beings are complicated and flawed, and I always give grace for that. Sometimes there just comes a time where the afforded grace runs out.

I don't feel comfortable going into all of the details of this misrepresentation, because I am also sure this person will be lurking for some time afterwards, and I don't wish to give them screen shot fodder to try to illicit sympathy.

 

I turn 39 the Friday after next. I no longer wish to have someone  make their problems my problem. 

 

 

 

 Well, does it look like she has "True Grit?" lol