The hid are out, out for the year It's a lot of face, a lot of crank air

 I have been thinking a lot about seasons this week.

I know this is very silly, but yesterday it struck me (and quite profoundly, actually) that it was, in fact, Spring.

I know, I know, like it's BEEN Spring since March. 

I was walking home from the bus stop, and I saw all the little birdies flying around, and the flowers had bloomed because of the recent rain, and the little butterflies were floating about. It it just... struck me like this epiphany, "oh my gosh, it's Spring." I don't know why this is so funny to me. Like, kid, it's BEEN Spring? Not only that, it's about to be May and it's BEEN SPRING for over a month now? 

I think because we don't get proper "Seasons" here the way other parts of the country  or world (or even other parts of the state do). I just remember this last winter was so cold and everything was so bleak, that walking home yesterday and seeing and remembering that Spring was here and it was sweet and beautiful really did something to me. Especially since coming home during the winter in the dark and leaving in the dark has such a negative effect on my brain, just having the birdies and sun and butterflies for my walk home made me feel so much lighter.

Right now the real feel is 53°, which is a little cold for almost-May. I feel a little anxiety about it already being May. I think because March really got away from me and then April has been a roller coaster. Where has the year gone?  I think because of the high stress of this entire year, feeling like you've lost the month is especially stressful. Also, being this cold means that my feet are always cold again (which I absolutely detest).

May is supposed to be so great for Capricorn and Leo placements, and this full moon is supposed to be very potent for Leos (and I am really feeling it, let me tell you, I AM IN MY FEELINGS). The latter half of the year is supposed to be the best ever yet for Leos. Nothing feels like that, though. Everything feels terrible. Everything feels terrible. Nothing feels like it is ever going to get better. I hate that it feels like this. I had that I feel robbed of both my joy and optimism.

One more month of Spring, and I hope I make the best of it.

Maybe it really will get better, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.