As long as you let me out To taste the air beside the river I pick the soundtrack with immaculate care Such a lot rests upon it My life upon a song

 I bought a sketchbook.

Yes, I know I just bought a sketchbook. I've already lost it. Yes, I know, that's another sketchbook I've bought and lost already. I made a promise to myself to not lose this one. (More on this in a bit.)

I am so deeply and profoundly sad in a way I can't shake.

I saw the sun setting at 8:30 last night, and I was instantly depressed. I feel as though I missed my entire summer waiting for summer.  I can already feel my seasonal depression suffocating me, and it's still summer. I have NOT in ANY WAY adjusted to the bus schedule changes. I can't sleep. I keep waking up every couple of hours every night after having nightmares because my anxiety about getting enough sleep is so intense.

They took my spot when I got up to take selfies.

And were miffed I wanted to sit backdown.

As previously mentioned, I bought a new-new sketchbook. Art used to be such an important part of my life, and now it means almost nothing to me. I very rarely draw, and I don't think I have painted in over two years now. I had packed my paints up from when I was going to go to a safehouse, but then never moved (and my stuff was never unpacked).

Doing art doesn't feel good anymore. It feels yucky. It's time-consuming and labour intense.

I used a bunch of different sized and shaped drink coasters to create a series composed of tentative scenarios. As of right now, most of the little frames are just the vaguest of sketch ideas, to be fleshed out and refined later.

She's my fave.

This is a redrawn idea from another artist. Since I am not doing this for anyone but myself and have no intention of making money from these, I feel okay posting this.

Possibilities are endless, I guess.

There are no expectations for these. They're little frames to complete maybe once a day. They're not going into  a portfolio, they're not for an art show, they're not for a print collection. They just exist. I've come to terms with the fact that art will never be satisfying to me ever again. It will never, ever be an important part of my life ever again. It's just now something I do once in a while when I think about it, when I force myself to do it. Maybe I will do an art drop again or something? Just for fun. Or something.

I'm trying.