you can say it's over when you won't let it end

I am going to lump these two works together because they not only came out the same year, but were build at the same time.

I spent the rest of 2018 'studying' classical voice ( I say this in quotes  for reasons I cannot talk about publicly, but maybe will some day.)

My 3rd album was a covers album of musical theatre songs of the "legit" classical bent. I absolutely had something to prove. 

I have previously spoken about this song, and this album, at length.

I made it a point for this album, called 'Make Believe,' after the song from SHOW BOAT, to make it as stripped as possible. It's just piano and voice for the most part, with a couple of exceptions. I know I had some comments, maybe even criticism, towards my use of vocal effects (from people who didn't really understand shoegaze or electronic music), so I wanted to make certain sure that I used none on this album. It was just my voice and piano tracks. 

Again, I had something to prove.

I had to prove that my voice was good enough.

That I was good enough.

During the entire process of recording 'Make Believe,' I worked on an original record called 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DO ON THE INTERNET.' I used loops and analog drum machines and synths. I hid behind metaphors on 'Make Believe,' but I purposely dropped hints and left little clues all over IKWYDOTI, because I wanted people I knew were spying on my music to find things that would make them uncomfortable. As my grandmother always said, don't ask questions you don't really want the answers to. I felt like I still needed to work through the abuse and betrayal, and I was done trying to be nice to my abusers' feelings.

I had re-recorded this from the 'sweettalk convenience, & lies' EP. It's a fuller version, and I think it really suits this album.

I ended up liking the remix more than the original version, hahaha.

"Liar, Liar" is still one of my favourite songs. I found that synth sample and sat on that loop for a long while, because I knew it was special and I knew that it needed to be used just right. I really wanted to make sure that my skills as a producer and a pop musician stayed sharp whilst working on the covers record, so I studied the Vox series about pop music, specifically the episode about the fade out in pop music. I really took care into the final mix of this, and every single track fades out individually, and most move from stereo (both ears on the headphone) into left to right into their respective fades. I am still, to this day, incredibly proud of this. Sonically, lyrically, emotionally, this one really nailed it, and I am still proud of it. I cannot believe this is 5 years old already.

'I KNOW WHAT YOU DO ON THE INTERNET' was the first full length album I did all by myself. I haven't had an album since where I worked with someone else on it, because I found that that's the way I like working the best.  I ended up making 4 albums in an 18 month period (which was wild).