Mark the passing of days Through parks where pale colonnades arch in marble and steel

I will never be an East Coast girl, even if my ancestral bloodlines run deep into the very soil. New York is too expensive, too gritty, too...itself, for lack of a better description.

When I last visited in 2017, I never thought I was ever going to go back. The City had changed, and I felt less and less welcome there. A lot of my "friendships" and connections were severed (read: sabotaged), the energy of the City post-moldy orange election had changed. Shifted into something strange. It changed, and more so, I changed.

Last year, when I saw my friends (who are from NY) in concert, I, on a whim, looked at plane tickets to go see them on Broadway. I just hit BUY without really thinking about it. I had friends to see in their respective shows, new friends to see. This would be the longest time I had ever spent in the City.

I've been thinking about it ever since I got back. I spend so much of my life alone, and I spent much of that vacation alone--even if I did spend a lot of time with friends, much of my time was spent alone. For the first time.... in perhaps ever, I felt.... lonely by myself.

I absolutely got overwhelmed by how expensive everything was, and I ran out of money on the trip sooner than I thought. I got over stimulated more easily than I normally do. And for the first time--maybe ever--I wanted someone else to be there.

The next time I go, I hope that I get to go with someone else.

The Subway is an absolute Zoo, and whilst it certainly runs better than BART, it made me miss BART.

Let's get lost in Central Park looking for Balto.

Let's eat a bunch glorified mall pizza.

Let's see something at The Met (or better yet, you've come to see me sing at The Met).

See, we found him.

Let's make new memories here:

Making new memories here, too.

Let me show you one of my favourite places in the whole world, even if this diorama scares me.

Let me tear up and get emotional over seeing something I call "my Sistine Chapel."

And the next time I take a selfie in this reflection, there will be someone else with me in it.