Goodnight, you canyons of steel and light

 I just decided to combine the last three days into one entry.

Monday was my birthday, and since it was a theatre dark day, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief for the first time in the almost week I had been there.

I wore my special outfit I picked out for the day, only I was having a lot of issues with my body and some lower abdominal bloating, so I did not feel very attractive.

You can see a bit of the bloating here.

This outfit, however lousy I felt in it, got, um, a lot of attention. More attention than I am used to, and certainly way more than comfortable with. Someone literally walked by me and said, "wow" out loud, which I am sure someone else would have been flattered by, but I just felt sad.

Fixed it.

I took myself to lunch at The Smith(s). I gave the waiter a huge tip in cash because I felt like giving someone else a present on my birthday.

This corgi didn't want to walk anymore and ended up having to be carried.

I walked from Times Square and all through Central Park and back again.

HIMB.

This reminded me of The VVitch, which I think is overrated, and dull.

I am such a macabre spectacle.

My friends took me to sushi for my birthday!

IDK why, but I loved this cow lol. 

My sister sent me this photo of a birthday card "from" the cats (who had trashed my bed in my absence, WTH)

It started to tropical storm right as dinner ended, and I took the train back to my hotel and watched Balto. I just felt empty, lonely, and sad. Let me make something clear, I am incredibly grateful for the time I spent with my friends and them taking me to dinner. But those nice things can't always offset the feelings of emptiness and loneliness, especially when my brain and body have already tanked.

Last day in NYC was 8/8/ Liongate.

I went to a  thrift store near the hotel because I wanted to support a local business... and got yelled at for taking a photo to send to my mother to see if we had this one already before I bought it.  Actually, I am not sure if they were yelling at me specifically, but there were no signs not to take photos. In fact, yelling at your customers (whether it was me or anyone else) is a trash business practice. The place was literally a shithole. They were selling literal garbage and broken items and it was covered in rat poo. I left without buying anything. Because ew.

I then took the train to Manhattan to see my friend Ashley again!

This is her community garden!

Visiting my new friend again!

We met up with my friend Will Curry and me and Will and Ashley had tea at a café. This was my belated birthday cake.

And then, that was it, the trip was over. I spent part of the last night of the trip checking out the roof of my hotel (which I didn't do the entire trip until the last day, because I am ....*gestures broadly* like that, I guess. I quietly sang little songs to Manhattan until the sun was completely gone. 

And then, that was it. The trip was over.

I went back to my room, cleaned up what I could the best I could, and since I had already packed up most everything the night before and that morning, so it was really just a matter of playing Tetris with dirty clothes.

I'll talk about my horror-flight(s) back on a different day.

I certainly think that NYC is better in smaller doses, and I did get overwhelmed by how much money I had to spend just to not die on this trip. I didn't take very good care of myself, and paid for it. My anxiety was so high the entire time, it wasn't until the last two days I got to fully breathe. I certainly don't think I could ever be used to the rudeness, the entitlement in shared spaces, or the damn smoking literally everywhere. It's busy and dirty, and I know "that's New York," but it certainly feels much different than pre-pandemic NYC.  It certainly made me appreciate SF a lot more.

I still wish the transportation here was better. Alas.

Until next time, New York.