When people tell you who they are, believe them.

When people tell you who they are the first time, believe them. Believe and listen to the people who believed them the first time they told you exactly who they were.

On this last Sunday night, Phantom of the Opera closed on Broadway, after over 30 years of running.  Many alumni were in attendance, as to be expected. 

This happened:

You can read more about this here. You can read some of the background about this here. With all the applicable trigger warnings, naturally. 

First and foremost, I want to personally thank OnStage Blog for being the only theatre media outlet moral enough to cover this. Chris (the founder of OnStage) has been the only person consistently speaking on this, being unrelenting in his stance, and providing space and resources for victims. Every other theatre news media outlet has treated this like this was all just business as usual.

Secondly, it's worth noting that none of these outlets have anything to lose: this man in question is a convicted offender, who admitted to doing what he did, in a court of law, and whose acts were legally proven. For one of the few cases, this is not "allegedly," this is legal fact. Court documented legal fact. This was not a simple garden variety "mistake." This was not an oopsie goof. Humans are complicated and make complicated mistakes. This was not a complicated mistake. This was a calculated predation on teenage girls. This was a repeated, demonstrated pattern of behaviour that has been repeatedly rewarded.

 As I sit here with my hands physically shaking and crying tears of white hot anger, I want to take it back to 2015, when the announcement of this man's casting in Phantom was made. I remember every single last person who defended him. I remember every single last name and face. 

I just want to make it clear that this is not an overreaction. This is more than the internet outrage machine. 

I also very vividly remember not only the people who defended this man, but who acted as though my reaction was an overreaction. That I was being unreasonable. That I was the problem. That my standards were too high, that I was being dramatic. That I  "always run away."

An absence of reality is not a difference of opinion. 

This was more than just a "sign of the times" or a "lapse in judgement" on their parts. This was deliberate. Not only was I correct by my estimations, but defending this man would (unfortunately) by more than indicative of who these people were. They told me who they were, they told the whole world who they were. It certainly puts the "daddy issues" comments directed towards me into a clearer perspective, doesn't it? It certainly puts the lies they would go on to tell about me into a clearer perspective, doesn't it? It certainly puts the grandstanding the virtue signalling they all seem to do  into a clearer perspective, doesn't it? 

They told me who they were, and I should have been allowed to listen to my own gut. Instead of belittled and gaslit about how I "always run away." How my standards are too  high. How I am being "unreasonable."

People tell you exactly who they are the first time.  And if you don't want to listen, get out of the way of people who do.