So, what difference does it make? It makes none But now you have gone

 

What is up, my dudes? I hope that all is well. I know I haven't been posting on here as much. One because I had Covid for 2 weeks, but also because I am just tired.

I am going back to Disneyland in a little over 2 weeks, and I have a lot of things to do before I leave. I am very stressed out about it, honestly! :D I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things to PAY FOR, so I am spinning. My mental health completely tanked during my time of having Covid and now everything is overwhelming. I am TRYING! I am trying and it is NOT EASY. Call the vet. Call the dentist. Get the skirt finished and mailed back to me in time. Prep everything for me to not be there for a week. Finish packing. Make the arrangements from and to the airport. 

Because this new strain is absolutely fucking garbage, I am interacting other people as little as possible because you can catch it again in like 3 weeks of getting it! I am trying to get my second booster, which I almost got RIGHT before I caught Covid! Now I have to wait until next week. (Hopefully!) Which is fine because I can't spend any money right now anyways! :D

I will never listen to solo Morrissey ever again, but I have tried to listen to The Smiths today. I take great comfort in knowing how much he hates them and how mad he gets than the other members get royalties. I haven't listened to them in years. For many, many reasons. They'll never be the part of my life they once were, and they're never going to be that way again, but their music certainly makes me feel a certain way. And not in a mopey way lol lol lol. Their music is like a comfy blanket. Some days.....sometimes not, though.

I saw the COME FROM AWAY tour on Saturday! Transit in the Bay Area leaves a lot to be desired, and I do get jealous of people in Europe who the trains everywhere and having transit that works and actual health care, etc etc etc. But Europe is rich because it pillaged Africa, so there really are no winners lol. Two train and a bus in both directions and a lot of walking. Thankfully, San Jose is walkable and feels safer than Downtown SF even during the day, but I always walk with purpose. Being on CalTrain always brings me back to my Smiths-era because I took the train so often when I worked in San Mateo. My nostalgia-sadness of being back in that space again was interrupted by some dude screaming racial slurs and  fighting with other passengers. They also didn't do a ticket check like they normally do. I was listening to Joanna Newsom's "In California" RIGHT as the train was in the Hayward Park station. Cue a lot of ugly crying. I don't really like to look back on things because most things just make me so sad and instead of happy nostalgia like most people get, I just start feeling sad and empty.

COME FROM AWAY is probably going to be my last outing until Disneyland.

I mean, I also can't spend any money right now and I am stressed the fuck out about literally everything, so it's probably for the best.

I feel like my whole summer is lost.