If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.

 

Spring is here again. I long for my old stomping grounds. I long for them in ways I could have never imagined. I hadn't thought of this place in years, and suddenly thought of it this morning and it was like a hole in my chest opened up and this love for this place opened back up.

For the last several years, I haven't been out and about town very much. Not only because of Covid. I had issues with a longtime stalker and this person has finally moved away. It was in the moment when I learned that this person may finally be out of my life that my heart and soul opened up and all of the places that my heart missed that it didn't know it missed became this very particular kind of longing. Part of this is also because I have SO MUCH to do on the weekends and such limited time to get all of my chores done, that it is impossible to even dream of carving out time for fun things.

The place my heart longs to go to right now is Higgin's Way, which was a public access former utility road behind my grandparents' old house. It's come under some issue lately with potential development, but if there's anything Pacifica Karens are good for, it's squashing this kind of shit. I have avoided going there on purpose because I don't want to see what used to be my grandmother's house. I tell myself I can go on the trail if I promise not to look at that particular overlook. 

There's just something so magical about this road. I think my heart just feels free here. I know some people call it "the Planet of the Apes road," and, well, that's not entirely wrong. It starts off as this lush and overgrown moss and eucalyptus forest that turns into spectacular vistas, ending with an option to look at the ocean and turn around, or going into the mountains one way or off into the forest another. 

Here are some photos from years past of it:

The last time I was here was in 2016, with the person who would become my stalker. I haven't been back since. I feel like the moment I found out that this person was gone, this place spoke to my heart to call me back, "I've been waiting for you."

I don't get lonely very often, but I wish I still had more local friends up for going on adventures like this. My friends I do hang out with never share the photos of our outings together, which honestly makes me very ....sad. Like...why?!

Saturday is supposed to be foggy and Sunday is supposed to rain, and both of those weather conditions are some of my favourite ones to be on this trail. To listen to The Kick Inside by Kate Bush, to be alone, to just allow the natural beauty and restorative healing properties of this beautiful place wash over me, would be the dream.

I am coming home to you, old road. Soon. I promise.