Down to the drive in show You be my riverboat Movies is magic Real life is tragic
I hate the time change. I hate both the Spring and the Autumn time changes, and can't stress enough how badly they disorient my brain. My brain is a chaotic place enough as it is!
Yesterday morning, I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave I managed to get out on time, thanks to the fact that I prep everything religiously the night before. It's borderline somnambulistic at times--not being fully cognizant until I get to work at 8:30.
This morning, I gave myself a whole, full 35 minutes. I snoozed my alarm several times. It was still pitch black outside. I could hear the soft rain outside. I love rain. I loft soft rain, its restorative nature. I like being indoors and watching it. I love that no camera made by man could ever accurately capture its beauty.
I also rather hate being out in it.
I had ample time this morning to make myself a coffee, heat up a pork bun, and eat a banana, whilst spending some time with my cat and getting dressed. I paid some bills on my phone I had been anxious about first thing. When the 10 minutes to leave mark arrived, I had Alexa set off her music timer and reminded myself to get my shit together because I had to leave.
It's still dark when I leave now. It was also raining. I don't have enough hands for an umbrella, having to carry a purse, a coffee, and my lunch for the day, so a hoodie with the hood up would just have to do. The earth smelled fresh and vibrant, the birds were waking up and doing their own morning routine. Small animals rustle in the bushes, and the street lights are still on. (For context, I live in a semi-rural area, and I leave at five after seven in the morning.)
Petrichor. That's the word I am looking for. These is not a scent in this world I love more than, and when you combine it with the salt of the roaring sea in the not too far off distance, there is nothing more restorative, healing, or, well, magical.
This morning I also submitted my first release through Spinnup. I have used CD Baby for the last 10 years, and I have become unhappy with them. I wanted to try something new. There was no option to remove my music from Amazon with this platform, so that might be a strike against it, but the proximity to Universal Music is nothing to sneeze at. So we'll see! Just to spice things up! It's terrifying, which I think is good for me. They could still reject it. I haven't even submitted for UMG consideration, I've just submitted it for distribution. But they could still reject it. So who knows. They seem to certainly have a better turn around time than CD Baby does.
I certainly figure that if someone could pay for Joanna Newsom to make Ys, that surely there's a place in this world for something that I do. (And here's to hoping that I one day, too, get to work with Van Dyke Parks.) (I am unapologetically a Parks acolyte, tried and true, dye in the wool.)
On top of now writing songs specifically for Spinnup and consideration, I've just wanted to write songs that were imbued with this sensation I've been chasing. Last year as my birthday trip, my mother and I had done to the Monterey Peninsula. I hadn't been in literally years, since maybe 2016? 2017? It had been a long time. We did the usual--Monterey, Carmel-By-The-Sea, Pacific Grove. I forgot how much I loved this area. I forgot how much healing could be had there. The otters, the Spanish moss, the gnarled cypress trees, the cemeteries, the deer, the butterflies. More than just being my first vacation in over 2 years and just a weekend, it was much needed. Because I don't drive, it's impossible to get to. It was a good rest.
I don't think I have rested since.
Since that trip I have been chasing that feeling of being there. I want to translate it into music.
The moments were I get brief flashes of the feelings of being in Monterey are when it's dark and quiet in the morning, and when it's raining softly just as it was this morning.
It's supposed to rain again on Saturday.
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