come one down the furthest reaches of your nowhere town

 TGIF

 

I didn't use Flickr this time and just uploaded the photos directly because I have had such issues lately with the HTML. I don't know why it's been such an issue lately, I have been blogging for literally decades at this point! 

I am actually gonna do a coord breakdown today! 

 

Shirt: eBay
Hoodie: H & M DIVIDED from eons ago
Workout pants: DANKSO
Socks: Amazon (Esnupii)
Shoes: Sketchers

I was physically miserable all week. Even though I wasn't bloated, because it was so muggy and humid, I was very water-retained, and I didn't feel good. I had issues with eating  because I didn't feel good, and I felt nasty in all of my clothes. Today as the first day this week I actually felt like me. I had to break out the strongest weapons with this one (Emotional Support Glen Campbell). It's been a Glen Campbell-heavy week (which isn't that unusual, I just felt like I needed him more this week than normal). I know that yesterday was the last day of Mercury Retrograde (which I felt very heavily), and Leo Season started the day before (which I also really felt). I have just been feeling a lot. IDK like I know Leo in Jupiter is supposed to be the bestest, but it's really been the pits! Like when is this going to start getting good already??? I guess Cancer Season had to go in in true Cancer fashion--miserable and whiny.

 I made great strides on recovering my voice this week. It feels like it's about 85-95% back. I am still not where I want to be on my high notes, but I can sing freely--perhaps even more freely than I've been able to in a very long time.  I have also been doing a lot of language work to make sure that's not sloppy, either. I am pretty confident in saying I think I can be done with "Caro Nome" by August (and I am READY to be done with it, holy crap, lmao). I can at least warm up to the F6, even if I don't think I can sing it yet. I am hoping to be able to b y next week, so I can work on my A6 again.

I am turning 39 in two weeks from today! Everyone is so hung up on and feeling bad about themselves when it comes to aging, and they all think they're going to make it my problem, it's making me nuts! Like you feeling bad about you isn't a group activity! I am doing fine, thanks, leave me out of this!

 I know I keep talking about it again and again, but 5 months ago, I went no contact with someone and it has made me feel so much better. I just cannot believe how much better my life feels without this person. On top of feeling better and overall lighter, I am also feeling a well of resentment. Going through everything from over the years makes me feel like I am building a RICO case. I cannot wait to live the best part of my life without them. I am just sad (and angry) that I lost 25 years of my life to this would I could have had a real best friend instead. 😓

This week was a hard week! It was a long week! It was the second week in a row where I felt exhausted by the 5 day week. Next week is another 5 day week, and then the following is my birthday vacation. I am hoping next week is gentler and kinder to me and all my outfits are the best instead of having just the one (today's) be the best. 

 It's supposed to be a lucky Leo Season, but I am still waiting for the positive shifts.