make it easy make this easy it's not as heavy as it seems

 I am telling myself that this rainbow is a promise of better things to come.

I wish that I could say what was going on with my life right now. Unfortunately, I can't. I wish I could tell you just how terrible it was, but I can't.  Maybe one day I will be able to, but right now I can't.

I keep telling myself that just because things are terrible now doesn't mean they will be terrible forever.

I will do a recap of my weekend tomorrow afternoon after work. It was a very full weekend and I wish that I were able to enjoy it more. Whilst the rain did put quite the damper on things, it was still enjoyable enough.  Make no mistake, I am still grateful for most of this weekend.

I, again, cannot say "why" just yet, but Friday was pretty terrible. I did have one of those moments where something happened and I had a "pinch me" moment. A "did this really happen?!" kind of a moment. It wasn't.... out and out bad, per se, but it was one of those moments that I wonder if it were really, truly real. I wish that I couldn't be vague, that I could actually tell you what it was. It's why I still believe in magic. It's why I still believe in whatever it is. 

Two things are also very true for me right now: 1. I need a new phone, and I don't want a new phone yet (for both sentimental and ethical reasons), although I have already picked out the one I wanted, and 2. that I will at some point soon need a Big Girl Computer. My laptop is... it's old. It was a slightly older model when I bought it (it still has a  built-in CD drive!) I am very good at picking out what I want and I have already picked out both the phone and the computer I wanted. Since I have a spare keyboard and a monitor from when the screen on my white MacBook died (it still runs, by the way, it just overheats very easily and the external monitor attachment thing gets to be annoying). A Mac Mini has payment options, is very powerful, and since I already have the other things, setting it up won't be that much of an issue. It's just two more looming stresses that I don't really need. :( 

Most of my stresses are not anything that I can control (which is normal, actually, I supposed) but so many of them are external factors that are because other people in my life are selfish.  I know, I know, I've been told that "it's not [my] problem," or whatever, but, unfortunately, other people not being responsible greatly impacts my ability to do... just about everything. And, most unfortunately, I cannot drop the ball the way that they do because there are living things involved.

I keep telling myself that my huge rainbow I saw on Friday was a promise to me that everything is going to be okay. That everything will work itself out, and that things falls apart are really just them realigning and falling into place.