No sense of life Disillusioned A flawed design With no conclusion

 I was on vocal rest for three days because one of my vocal cords was inflamed.

I still tried to study.

Toast and Pebbles "helped."

Not being able to sing is actually terrifying. The fear is paralyzing. It is the most ice cold, gut punch of a fear. And, because you can't calm down or regulate your nervous system, it just gets more inflamed. So I am just trying to hydrate and nurture myself and build everything back up a little at a time. I have a new vocal dampener that I will try to warm up in this evening to see if that helps. I feel so much stress and tension in my neck.

I checked in with my voice a little bit (nothing too crazy) and I think I am on the right track.

I just want to be done with this opera record so I can move on with my life. Move onto the next project, move onto more pieces so sing. Feeling less stuck, less trapped.

But I am still trying as best that I can.