we are the werewolves, mister

First and foremost, I just wanted to say that I know there are VERY MANY things happening in the world right now, and it seems very silly to be fretting about music. I am very well aware of all of those things. This just isn't the space for them. I don't need to centre myself in these conversations, I don't need to contribute. The world does not need me to comment on them, and I don't think talking about it on a blog that is mostly about music and  fashion pictures and selfies is an appropriate space for those things. So I will leave those conversations for those who are way more qualified and more informed than I am. It's not that I don't care, because I very, very much do. I would just rather not use other people's pain to platform myself, and not insert myself where I do not need to be the main focus. I am not apolitical, in fact, far from it. I am not ignoring what's happening in the world. I just don't feel comfortable writing about it or making content about it, when I will instead be avidly supporting the people who actually need to be heard.

ALL that being said, there is something that I want to talk about.

I wish that making music were more rewarding. 

Last year, I released a 6 song EP featuring several songs that had already been let out into the wild over the last couple of years. It was my first body of work since releasing my last album in 2022. I've redirected my focus and attention on opera and finishing my opera record, and finishing the album got derailed several times due to illness. I can now say with a degree of confidence that we are actually in the home stretch this time. Tentatively, the first verse of the doll song aria will be ready to record by the end of this month.

I've lost my passion for original music. It's so much effort for so little return. I will be releasing original music later this Spring, but it's not the same drive for me anymore.

I've been thinking a lot about this song, Heady Nights (above) and thinking about how I wish it had done better. I wish that I could have released it and it would have received some more traction. I worked so hard on it, I even re-recorded and re-released it because I wanted better for it. Vocally, this is not my favourite, by any means. I know I am capable of better (I am an opera singer, ffs), but there's a freedom in just letting go of perfectionism.

The photo used for the cover art was taken by my on my way home from The Jungle Book event at the Walt Disney Family Museum. It was Floyd Norman's birthday. My great grandparents are buried in the Presidio. It was just a special day. I thought of this song as a sequel to Late Nite Drive. They're both about being Bay Area kids, gentrification, and doubling down on belonging here.

I wish the amount of care, time, effort, and work I put into my music yielded better/ more results. It' so hard to work so hard for such little results.

I don't want to be famous, but I just want my work more appreciated. That's all.