h a u s keeping

 hi.

There has been an uptick of readership here recently, and I just wanted to reintroduce myself. I appreciate the readership and people sharing my stuff with other people who may be interested.

This is me:

Hi. My name is Melody. Here are somethings you should know about me:

I am a neurodivergent Indigenous femme person who suffers from innumerable physical, mental, and emotional conditions. I try to trigger and content warn everything that is applicable, but sometimes I forget. I have had a very messed up life, and this has caused me to want to make the world a better, softer, kinder, and more accommodating place. 

My pronouns are she/her, but I am ambivalent towards pronouns... and actually don't like thinking about them, despite squarely being she/her, this all feeds into the further horrors of existence and being perceived. 

My intersections of my mental health and my being an Indigenous person facing the never-ending horrors of on going colonization are intrinsically related. 

I am, however, more than my adverse experiences. I am not your trauma mascot or avatar, and I will absolutely not tolerate my successes being used for respectability politics. 

I imperfectly advocate for mental health wellness, awareness, accommodations, and understanding. Whilst having a lot of experience, I am not and do not claim to be an expert.  I also do not pretend to be without bias. 

I am a huge personality in a very small package, and regularly refer to myself as ⚡️ The 5ft MENACE⚡️ as a joke, but also probably... not ... I am ferociously loyal, passionate, and tenacious. I am nothing short of  a menace, however, the version of me that you get is the version that you deserve, and have earned. 

Special skills include, but are not limited to, zany catchphrases, obsessing over fictional characters, treating every task I have to do as a whacky little character on a wacky little adventure, comforting and supporting people at all costs, making people laugh, being liked by children and animals, always finding that one thing to buy in a shop so they don't think I am stealing even if they didn't actually have what I needed, calling stores by their old names YEARS after name changes, and giving what my friends refer to as "fat dog directions"(even though they always manage to get there).

I am horrified by existence and being perceived, have a warped concept of time, and the passage of time fills me with existential dread. I am especially overwhelmed and terrified by the idea of outer space outside of space operas.

I am a light lyric coloratura opera singer and a professional illustrator, but I feel as though these might actually be two of the least interesting things about me.

Fictional characters I identify with are Brer Rabbit, Hotaru Tomoe, Jessica Rabbit, Gavroche, Huck Finn, Rosaleen, and any of the innumerable 1980's anime magical girls. Only they are not fictional to me, they all live in my heart.

I identify as a 1980's OG magical girl in a 1980's dark fantasy kidventure with a sprinkle of my Huck Finn bullshit. Upon meeting me for the first time, you should treat me the same way you would meeting a strange animal with glowing eyes in a dark, foggy forest.

I, in fact, identify mostly as a fictional feral child.

You can make of any of those as you will.

I may dress like a 80's OG magical girl, but heart and my music tastes more align with 80's goth,

I love theme parks, hand drawn animation, practical effects, cats, rabbits, werewolves, real wolves, whales, collecting shoes and toys, thrifting, mid-century modern aesthetics, 80's and 90's anime, ghosts, museums, taxidermy, the ocean and all the rest of its creatures, aquariums, sweaters, up-cycling, food quests, seeing anyone from Stephen Curry to Diana Damrau be the best at whatever it is they do so I can go "woooooooow!" out loud cos I just love when people are good at stuff, coffee, Nutella, making the world a better place, and listening to the same songs over and over and over and OVER again.

I very much believe in God, just not the Abrahamic one of the Bible.

I hate Christmas, but, boy howdy, do I love Christmas decorations, especially Christmas lights.

I will over-defend myself and over-explain myself because other people lying makes my brain spiral. Sometimes this happens when you spend your entire life being lied to or about.

I unironically love fruits, vegetables, and exercise. I also somehow manage to eat Nutella at least once a day.

I enjoy being in new places but I hate the physical act of traveling. I love sewing, but will do anything in my power to not iron. I love deeply, and freely, but my heart is also a very guarded place. I can be your best friend or your worse enemy, but the version of me you unlock is the path you have chosen. I either want to be a perfectly, immaculately coordinated little outfit, or in my pajamas, and there is nothing in between.

There is very little organization to this place, but you are also free to check the tags for some vague semblance of law and order.

I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect, I have never claimed to be unproblematic. In fact, I have been very open about things that I have done in my past as a way to advocate for a better future. I also know to give myself empathy and grace because a lot of it was when I was a mentally ill child being forced on incompatible psych meds. I will always be the one to say, I did that, that is my fault.

This space is for me that I have chosen to share for whoever wants to be here. *Mickey Mouse during Fantasmic voice, this is MY imagination.

All the same, thanks for being here.