You mean she would rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her?

I loved this day. 

This was such a fun day. I loved my hair on this day and in this photo. I was definitely very sick here, and I try not to think about that. I try to think about how much I love that shirt and miss it, how much I loved that drink, how that Starbucks is no longer there, but that it was so fun to just hang out there sometimes, how cute my hair looked that day.

But as you can see in this photo, I was not healthy. My skin was terrible. I was miserable.  Even in those posed photo with my former friend (whom I, in my pettiest of shade, decided to cut her out of this photo), I am visibly miserable.

I miss that top most of all, and I will go to the ends of the earth until I find something like it.

I think of the above top as a grown up version of my beloved purple long-sleeve.

I do not miss that 'friend' (and her plethora of problems), but sometimes miss having friends to hang out with. I don't miss feeling aimless and fleckless. I enjoy feeling like I have drive and purpose, feeling so healthy and more put together. Sometimes I just miss having friends to just...faff around with.

I think the other problem is everything is so expensive, even getting a drink at Starbucks (which I rarely do anyway) is astronomical. Everything loses its fun factor when you have to put yourself in debt just to DRIVE to somewhere (speaking, of course, as someone who doesn't drive lol).

I have some things planned for Saturday, but maybe Sunday my friend Charlie and I can go see the seal pups in Moss Beach. 

Trying, even though it's hard.