Two worlds and in between Love lost, fire at will

 I think there is an art to seeing whimsy and wonder in every day things.

The above photo was taken back in February of this year. My friend was nice enough to help me take my cat to the vet. As we were waiting for her husband to come and jumpstart her car (lol don't ask) I couldn't help but be taken by the views from the vet parking lot. 

I know a lot of people look down on Pacifica as a sleepy little bedroom beach town. I know that a lot of my colleagues are always asking me why I don't relocate to New York or Los Angeles. Take a look at this photo and you will see why. This is a casual view from the parking lot of a vet's office. How can you see this and not be taken  aback by the sheer audacity nature has to be this beautiful? Just think, right above the vista of a mid-century shopping plaza is thousands of years of the splendor of nature's majesty just... casually sitting there. It doesn't matter how many times I see the beach from the bus stop, it doesn't matter how many times I see the hills and the mountains, it doesn't matter how many times I hear the frogs singing at night--the WOW factor has never worn off.

I am going to try to go for a walk on Saturday. Just to get out. Just to enjoy the nature and the beauty that surrounds me. I will most likely be alone, but maybe I can sucker a friend into going with me. I just spend so much time alone that I am at my most comfortable alone. It's all I have known. I do struggle sometimes when I go places with others because I wander off, not used to doing things with other people. Just sort of aimlessly meandering away without thinking about it. The pandemic and safety has certainly changed my perspective on how safe I feel whilst alone, so many I can get someone to go with me.

I am trying to be better about it. I am trying to be better  about asking friends to hang out. I am trying to get better about texting. I am trying to be better about not being so independent. 

They say that hyper-self-reliance is a "trauma response," but I feel like that it's a natural reaction to being let down all of the time? To be surrounded by people who are notoriously unreliable?

So this weekend, I am gonna try. The key here being "try." We can all only do the best that we can (although some people don't even try).