Gonna waste some time with you And let this world go Keep my heart idle 🌘🎑🥮🍃🍂🍁

 Today is the official first day of Autumn. 🍁

I sadly missed the Mid-Autumn Moon celebrations this year (although Charlie and I semi-crashed the Korean one at the Presidio a couple of weeks ago). I haven't had a single mooncake this year! What is wrong with me?!

We don't get our proper "summer" weather until late September/ Early October anyway! We did get some surprise! rain earlier this week, which was so nice. Rain is nice. Commuting in it is not. I like being at home and looking at it, or going to a museum or something to escape it, but having to commute in it is the pits.

I know the aesthetic Dark Academia has a lot of... problems (but I still attest that I invented Dark Academia, and will not hear otherwise), but there is something to be said about how studious I feel this time of year. Obviously, I am not into any of the weird Colonialcore nonsense, but I do miss Fall sessions of college. They always seemed much shorter and marked by holidays, unlike Spring sessions, which seemed endless. The "humanities" always bored me when I was in college. I have many, many dressing styles and aesthetics that I enjoy (and I can never choose just one because 1. I find that tremendously limited and boring, and also 2. my entire personality is not fixed to how I dress), but I think solidly my everyday wear sits somewhere in vintage and dark academia naturally. Most of that has to do with growing up poor and only being able to afford second hand clothes or vintage hand-me-downs. Perhaps my draw to it is that it was never within my sphere of possibility to go to a fancy school--not even remotely. I like old things because I was surrounded by old things as a child. Everything I had was dated, everything I wore, owned, and was exposed to was dated. I like old things because there is a comfort in old things, but also, I appreciate that they have withstood the test of time and were made to last.

I am happy to see some efforts to decolonize the aesthetic!

Fall reminds me of my brick middle school that was nestled in the valley Fall reminds me of the little witchy magical girl stories I wrote in that era and  drew the characters of as a means to escape being stalked and bullied at school. Fall reminds me of walking home and there being crunching leaves, despite most of the trees around here being Evergreens.  Later it reminds me the little witches I drew in the margins of my college homework, The Killers releasing albums that I would listen to on my Samsung MP3 player. Fall reminds me of the decorations my grandparents would put in their front window. The -ber months have always been my favourite. Now, much like with everything else, the toxicity of consumerism and the age of influencers has ruined Fall.

I enjoyed writing for school. I write now only for myself, and I quite like to give myself blog posts or other writing projects. Right now my new project is recording my entire opera album from scratch! Is that academic enough? Haha.

I recently watched this video recently that breaks down why we love film cameras and vinyl records so much (yes, I left a comment on it, which I will reiterate here). So I know I am dating myself here, but I am 35 and I grew up poor and raised largely by my grandparents. Most of the things I had until college were analogue/vintage. I didn't even have cd's until high school, and most of the cd's I ended up having were ones I got from the library and either made copies of or transferred to tape. My grandfather used to develop his own film and had a huge record collection, so the vast majority of my life was seen through this trajectory. I was maliciously mocked for all of these things. Now, all of these things are "in." Trends are weird, IDK, man.  Not only do these older things make me feel safe,   they are tangible. Physical media is also worth more to the artist you get it from, especially musicians. 

Um, anyway, here is to the first day of official Autumn. May I have more fun this year than previous (although for not being able to do a damn thing, 2020 Halloween was pretty lit).