Over stones and under skies We're letting go of, letting go of doubts Memories singing with the birds In the treetops hiding with the clouds

 Please ignore my sister's work shirts on the couch behind me (don't. even. get. me. started.)

This is an unfiltered photo of me using my camera timer and the main (back) camera on my phone.  I do not ever use filters or face tune (but will sometimes use the Kuji app filters to make photos look old or vintage for a splash of dynamicism). My eyes were red because I had cried a little. You can see that in the way one of my eyes has clumping eye lashes. I very rarely wear make up. Not because I particularly have anything against it, I just don't like the constant sensation of having something on my face. The little synapses that tell my brain that I am wearing nail police or make up never.... turn off, and so I am just bombarded constantly with the messages that YOU HAVE NAIL POLISH/ MAKE UP ON (and, apparently, this is very common for Neurodivergent people?). You can see a few scars around my mouth from wearing masks for hours on end. If I look a little crazed, it's because I never know when the timer for the camera is going to go off and holding unknown poses is a struggle.

I know at some point I am going to have to have headshots done, but I am trying to somehow take them with my phone camera to avoid the middle man (or woman, or enby, well, you know). I see my face is disconnected and foreign from myself. I know, at some point, I will have to have these.

The problem is what is expected of me is not who I am. I am not saying this because I am Not Like Other Girls (and there are a LOT and I mean a LOT of folks who do not adhere to what this industry and all its rigidity expects of us). I am sharing this because I want to make it a little softer for others who also feel completely disconnected from the centuries of rigid, immovable standards. I don't make hackneyed cliché posts with overtly flower language to my "dear friends and colleagues." I would just think after the entire art form nearly died three years ago, that the industry would just.... join modernity and meet people where they are, but I guess not.

IDK, maybe I can just use this selfie as my headshot. hahahaha.